what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
