Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
