so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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