Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
