Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
guess who came home with a hottie last night
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.