just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday