i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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