Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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