he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
