I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
