I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
