I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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