i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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