is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
