there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
