Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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