Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
