ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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