You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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