Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
