I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
