i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize