he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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