In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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