my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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