They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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