is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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