are you so shy because you have an std?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
