Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
is it fun? or sober?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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