Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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