I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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