imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
