so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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