We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
