My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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