don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
