Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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