Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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