He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
