OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize