Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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