I am full of burrito and curiosity
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
