"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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