You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize