Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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