dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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