scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize