Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
