I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
