there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
