Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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