i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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