What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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