I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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