Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
