Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that's an acceptable place to lick
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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