perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I believe in your delicious
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
