I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
