it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
