I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize