I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
