We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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