sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize