I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
