Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
